| Jack Handey |
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free.
To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand,
pretending he's throwing up,
is not what I call hospitality.
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If you ever go temporarily insane,
don't shoot somebody,
like a lot of people do.
Instead,
try to get some weeding done,
because you'd really be surprised.
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When I heard that trees grow a new “ring” for each year they live,
I thought,
we humans are kind of like that: we grow a new layer of skin each year,
and after many years we are thick and unwieldy from all our skin layers.
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